Life with a resident...oh how I could write a book. There are late nights, lots of wine, crying fests with friends, and the the dreaded trying to explain to EVERYONE that they don't understand. Can we plan vacations? No, not until we get the schedule at the beginning of the month. Can we make dinner plans? Yes, only if you can be satisfied with just me, if Bo can't make it. When we do have dinner dates with his resident friends, the majority of the dinner is taken up by talk about the day's surgeries and complications (however, Bo tends to be the one who tries to avoid these the most). My dinners are planned, but not started until I hear from him. And it always takes me a good 30 minutes after he gets home (and a good joke from him) to get over the fact that he hasn't been home for the past two hours that I have expected him. The longer the night is for him, the tipsier the night is for me. There are so many things I have learned. For one, I am more independent than I was before marriage. How many wives can say that? Number two, my husband is brilliant. Literally. He deals with life and DEATH every day, and yet, he is able to come home and play the guitar for me.
Residency is a bitch. But the only advice I can give to future spouses of residents is to live for today. You can look forward to the end of residency and the beginning of a "real job", but your life is happening now and if you miss it, you can never get it back.
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1 comment:
oh, how i do agree. life is going on right now and it is so so so hard for me to live in the today -- but with kids i really have to. this residency thing is really rough. much rougher on me than i thought it would be... in ways i can't really articulate. i see why people say it is hard on your marriage, hard on your family life, all of it. i am very independent, but it doesn't make it easier... we just have to get through it. oh how i understand what you are saying!!
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